I was hoping there would be some good comments about my uber-long post and was getting worried. Then Amber Lynn, Andy and ChickyBabe weighed in. As usual, they hit the ball out of the park. It’s good to have fun and creative e-friends. I wanted to respond to a couple of comments and thought that they were “front page” material.
amber lynn wrote “Mexicans on the corner of Home Depot can be a little intimidating, but if you spend more time as a woman, you will get used to it.” Except that I only had 24 hours as a woman. Getting used to the perving day workers was not a priority. Getting laid was.
Andy wrote “You left out the constant attempts to be assured that you're actually really good looking... despite the fact that you already know it to be true...” Ahh, pandering to stereotypes. Well, Andy, they’re stereotypes because they’re based in truth. Generalities don’t become generalities if they aren’t general and common.
I’m a confident woman…er…man…whatever. I knew I was hot. I wasn’t snobbish about it but I knew. I didn’t need some MAN telling me how attractive I was. (Apparently I was also a liberal feminist. Who knew?)
And then ChickyBabe weighed in. As I hoped she would. Since we both spent 24 hours in the body of the opposite gender, I was hoping she’d have some valuable feedback. I will start the following bullet points with her quote and then respond.
- “I’m so thrilled you wrote this based on my recent post!”
Well, I’m glad I wasn’t panned for my lack of creativity or for riding on your coat tails. Besides, it was a worthy challenge. It seems more acceptable for a woman to write about what they would do if they were a man for a day than for a man to write about being a woman. There are some social acceptability issues with turning it around that way and I wanted to know if I could write honestly about what I would do. I’m pleased with the result.
- In response to me writing my physical description, ChickyBabe wrote “Do you want to be me?”
I didn’t know I was modeling myself after you. I think my personality is similar to yours, so maybe that’s why I chose to look as I did. I’ve never seen anything but your shadow profile on the sand. But I knew I was hot! So, if you look similar to how I looked, stand in front of the mirror tomorrow morning and tell yourself how beautiful you are. It’s a good way to start your day!
- ChickyBabe said that my “girl hygiene” comment was TMI. And yet, it’s an important detail. Think of all the little things that you ladies know what to do that guys are clueless about.
- ChickyBabe wrote “Back to bed for one minute?? You’re thinking like a man.”
Really? Are you quite sure? Because I think I was just acting like a curious and randy woman! Don’t come down on me for embracing my sexuality and sensuality. I am sick of being repressed by The man.
Seriously, what would YOU have done first thing in the morning? And if I was thinking like a man, it’s understandable. Seeing how…well…I’m a man.
- Chickybabe next wrote a paragraph about how my business attire wasn’t what she would have chosen, offered to take me shopping, and ended with the sentence “You’ll get to see what ChickyBabe likes…Deal?"
This is where things start to get confusing for “Married J” vs. “Woman For A Day J”. I thought I dressed quite nicely for the office! Am I totally without fashion sense? I’m a professional, after all, and didn’t want perving people at the office to get in the way of the work to be done. And, knowing that I was a hottie, I needed to dress appropriately.
The offer to go shopping was much appreciated. I mean, that’s what women do! How silly to leave that off my list of things to do as a woman. But there’s a minor concern.
At the core I’m still a guy, and shopping with a woman may have given that away. Maybe it was better that I didn’t go. Do you think the girls would have noticed when I plucked a couple items off the rack and said “Yup. These will fit fine. Let’s go.”
Now, here’s the funny reaction. ChickyBabe offered to take me lingerie shopping as well. Being a guy, my first thought was “AWESOME! I get to see a woman try on a bunch of underwear! Much nakedness will ensue!” Then I felt like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie! It just wasn’t right. Next came the shame. After all, I’m married. Except for that one day I wasn’t. But I was a woman. Does that make me gay? It gets very convoluted very quickly. Alas, this was one aspect of my experience that I couldn’t wrap my head around.
- ChickyBabe commented that I picked some wild, fun, naughty lingerie.
Of course! I tried on everything that she chose for me. I only had one day to do this. I hope we went to some fun shops, not just the run-of-the-mill stuff! Something tells me we did…
- ChickyBabe wrote “Hey Jess, that cool dude you met at the café sounds too good to be true. Is he for real? Careful, you may fall in love. But he needs to work on his flirting technique.”
The cool dude I met at the café is, indeed, for real. He’s me, on a good day back in my single days. Of course I picked me! I’m a great guy, if I do say so myself. The funny thing is the last sentence. I wrote exactly what I would have done if I had met Jess at night at a coffee house. I’m fairly certain that my flirting technique is lacking. How well ChickyBabe hit that one on the head…”
- ChickyBabe wrote (commenting on my experience with this dream man in bed) “Multiples, wow! When can I meet this guy?”
Well, I’m in Los Angeles and taken. But Craig, who is even more attractive and charming than I am, is single and currently accepting dates…
- ChickyBabe wrote "You seem obsessed with him. He’s cute, he’s hot, and he’s a good kisser, a considerate lover. What about you Jess? What was it like for you? Forget about him for a minute. You can’t? Too bad…"
Ahh, yes. Taking my egocentric nature to a new level. I’m obsessed with myself! How odd and strange and amusing.
All I’ll say publicly is that it was awesome for me. I’d hate for this to turn into some horrible Harlequin Novel. You know… “he thrust his masculine chest forward, biceps bulging. She was captivated by the depth of his blue eyes, sailing away on an ocean of bliss as he…” You get the idea.
- ChickyBabe wrote "Hmm…If I have one critique, it’s to say that as a woman, you seem to want to be with a man like you. So think about it for a minute… Defeats the purpose, no?"
Why is that a critique? Why wouldn’t I want to be with a man like me? Huh? What are you saying? Huh? HUH? You wanna take this outside?…
(calming down)…sorry. Yes, even knowing my faults as intimately as I do I would still want to be with a man like me. I know the depths of love and feeling of which I’m capable. I personally don’t think it defeats the purpose at all.
- ChickyBabe wrote "Well done, J. Very entertaining! Maybe the day I’m a man for 24 hours, I can have a coffee with Jess and take it from there..."
Thank you, CB. Coming from someone who’s writing I admire very much, that means a great deal to me. It isn’t that I wouldn’t want to meet, but the whole “two people changing genders and then meeting” is just getting too weird for me, too much to handle.
At some point the meeting would devolve into “So, wait…who’s the girl? What’s going on? Who’s supposed to say what and do what? Why do I have to pee again? Never mind…I’m just going to go home and play with my boobs some more.”
One final note. It was a good experience, being a woman for a day. But I sure am glad I’m back in my own flawed body.
Thanks for reading! One of these days, I’ll write a short post!
5 comments:
have been busy dear. i'll read them all over the weekend.
I’ll try to keep this one brief:
Firstly, I wasn’t aware that you had a conflict with “Married J” vs “Woman For A Day J”. When I was a man for 24 hrs (this sounds weird writing it!), everything else about ChickyBabe’s life vanished for 24 hrs. So it was easier for me to let go. But keeping that in mind, I can see where you had some boundaries in your 24 hours, so I hope you don’t think my comments were disrespectful.
As a woman, I wasn’t being hard on you for embracing your sensuality or sexuality, or even your curiosity in the morning. The criticism was for taking “one minute” :). So what does ChickyBabe do first thing in the morning? Day dream, try to sleep again, and then she’s always in a rush getting ready in the morning.
Your shopping analysis is funny. No you’re not gay! There’s nothing strange about women trying on clothes together. BTW, the lingerie was sexy but elegant. As I said, you looked very hot Jess, and I was a bit jealous ;).
As for meeting in different bodies, if we do this again, all you need to remember is that I’m the man!
Thank you for the compliment about my writing, J. This has been a lot of fun! I’m certainly going to come back and re-read these posts. Maybe start a Harlequin novel…
I kind of saw it as you became the perfect woman that you, as a man, would want. Why won't you hook up with her at the cafe? Am I in left field? Probably...
I find I get more respect (very important to me) if I dress professional in the office. You can be decent and still show your figure (just be creative!).
Shopping is important. So are shoes. Except for me, shoes suck. Anyway, that was fun. Glad you like yourself (man or woman) so much. I would've dated my pre-married self in a heartbeat.
I'm surprised, though. I mean, even the most confident of women that I've met have always sought some form of reassurance at some point.
They'd do it in their own little way, but they'd all roughly translate into "Tell me I'm beautiful"
But you said you're confident, so I'll leave it at that... :)
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