Things I wish I had learned from Mr. Rogers

This is a picture of Mr. Rogers speaking to children in universally known and accepted sign language. Yes, other cultures have different ways of getting this message across, but this is probably the most widely accepted gesture.

And it got me thinking…what are some other grossly inappropriate lessons that Seseme Street or Mr. Rogers could have taught? Here are but a few thoughts I had on the subject.

They should have taught us that while it’s true that it IS possible to be anything, even the president or an astronaut, the world also needs fast food employees and middle management. Odds are that you’ll be the latter no matter how hard you shoot for the former.

That’s another thing that could have been taught; gambling. True, you wouldn’t be able to get very advanced, but it would have been nice to know the skills involved in bluffing. Hell, that would come into play on a daily basis as a child! Oh, the childhood success I never knew due to my lack of bluffing skills. I mean, which would have been more valuable as a white boy in a small Midwestern town, saying “open” and “close” in Spanish or knowing how to bluff?

I rest my case.

I also think they should have taught us that we should keep the opposite gender in the “icky” category for as long as possible. Think about how many problems were caused by the opposite sex in high school and college? If they were icky through college, teen pregnancy would be down and students would get much higher grades! Think of how many times you neglected studies because you were trying to get into someone’s pants.

What, was that just me? Really? Well, huh.

Yes, Public Television has failed the youth of our great nation. All except Mr. Rogers. He was obviously giving much-needed lessons in getting your point across clearly and concisely.